Game 1: Ninja Squad vs Space Curry
Space Curry came in sizzling — like they were ready to cook — but the Ninja Squad brought chopsticks and ate all the Curry. Zahid, ZQ, and Zian had a strong showing, but Bindi came out looking like a stat-padding ninja master with a near triple-double: 21 PTS, 8 REB, 8 AST. Doop played one of those “sneaky good” games too, dropping 17 PTS, 6 REB, and 4 AST while probably wearing flip-flops. The Ninjas were just on another level. Space Curry? More like Curry in a hurry to lose.
Game 2: Rim Reapers vs 3Peat
This one was rough unless your name was Amad. The Rim Reapers were out here throwing bricks, but Amad went full Steph mode and hit six threes for his 18 points — bright spot of the night. Talha tweaked his back (probably carrying the team all season) and Imaan reminded us they’re not playing around when it comes to that 3Peat. Jojo clocked in another casual double-double, but this game belonged to E. Man dropped 34 PTS with 9 threes like he was playing NBA Jam — “He’s on fire!” Someone drug test him ASAP. Seriously. Sorry E, you're too hot right now.
Game 3: Brooklyn All-Stars vs Matrix
Brooklyn’s still winless... but they actually looked like a real team this time. Progress! That said, Nasif might actually be auditioning for a one-man Broadway show — because no one else seems to be showing up for Matrix. I heard he asked the janitor if he could lace up and run a few minutes. Brooklyn, you may not have the wins yet, but you earned some respect this week.
Game 4: Main Event – Showtime
This was the game everyone circled, and it looked like it was about to be a classic. Abdullah and Ricky did their thing, combining for 49 PTS like seasoned co-stars. But Luq and Saf? Bro… that duo is the basketball version of a Bacon Egg & Cheese with salt, pepper, ketchup – pure perfection. Luqman went nuclear with 37 PTS, 8 REB, 13 AST. Saf followed that up with 35 PTS and 9 AST, serving dishes and serving buckets. Oh, and Moose? That man was a problem in the paint: 16 PTS, 17 REB, and apparently we haven’t even seen his final form. Word on the street is “Skinny Moose” is coming soon. If that’s true... GG to the rest of the league.
My Picks So Far:
🏆 MVP: Luqman – Stat sheet lookin’ like a video game.
🛡️ DPOY: Zian – Lockdown mode activated.